My Love Hasn’t Grown Cold

My eyelids fluttered open slowly welcoming the morning with a peace that surpassed all understanding. Much to my chagrin, it was short lived, due to the fact that my neighbors were fighting with one another. Now this fight was much more than a skirmish, it was a great battle that held within its grasp stinging missiles disguised as honesty. The words, “I hate you!” bounced off the walls and entered my non-partisan heart without much resistance. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I tried to gain a sense of understanding of how these two lovers had fallen prey to rejection’s power.

As I listened, I couldn’t help but feel deep distress from the anger that spilled over the walls that were meant to hold secrets captive. If only they knew they had trapped an unwilling audience of one, would they have continued in their abhorrent quest to degrade one another? One could only hope that they would remain discreet, but I somehow doubt that a love lost will die with dignity.

Slowly sliding out of bed, I found that my legs wavered under the shaky ground of a husband’s earth shattering declaration to a wife he once loved.

“I wish I had never met you, much less married you! As far as I’m concerned, you are dead to me, ‘expletive’!” His words spewed forth from his mouth with enough venom to elicit a stern hand across a cheekbone. A hand that once caressed her lover’s face now echoed the sounds of finality.

“I can’t believe I ever loved you, you piece of ‘expletive’ so, right back at ya, baby!” I never realized that a term of endearment could abandon love so quickly, but her words made a believer out of me.

With weakened knees and a profoundly stunned heart I ventured downstairs. I wondered if their words had ushered in, not only a death to their marriage, but a death to future love? Had he inadvertently massacred the faith of loves healing power in his wife’s heart? Had she just torn down the walls of respect and admiration in his?

As sounds of hatred continued to slice through the air with the precision of a master chef’s blade over a pound of flesh, I began to pray for this couple that had apparently loved one another so long ago.

Sounds of broken glass crashed to the floor, as if somehow profoundly imitating their now shattered marriage. Did this married couple truly fall out of love or had their love just grown cold from the pain of offense and rejection?

I soon abandoned my morning coffee and a daily routine to seek G-d’s face on how to overcome lost love in an unforgiving heart.

~*~*~*

Growing up in a small suburban community afforded all kinds of possibilities for me. Neighbors on the block knew one another and evenings were spent talking about the day’s events and tomorrows dreams. Children played in the neighboring yards with enough energy and zeal to power a small strip mall on a hot summer day. Families cared about community and welcomed new arrivals with a grace and style that would warm the hardest of hearts. Street parties afforded a time of jovial laughter, silly games and mass amounts of food and drink. A cup of sugar was easy to acquire with just a few short steps next door. Neighbors were welcomed into our homes without suspicion or backbiting. When a neighbor had great news to share, we would celebrate with them; when tragedy struck, comforting arms would open and tears would be shared without shame. G-d’s name was used with each evening prayer before a family meal, and we raised the American Flag on Independence Day without fear of offending our neighbors. Divorce was not a word neither used nor understood by most children. Life was simple back then and kindness and respect for one another was a way of life.

Today, we’re lucky if we know what our neighbors look like, much less knowing their names. Half the marriages in world have become a statistic of divorce, and a strong sense of community has given way to fear, mistrust and backbiting. “In God we Trust” and patriotism excites offense to the bitter American and to the foreigner that actually hates the idealistic beliefs of freedom. Our familiarity with rejection is as commonplace as the tides early morning retreat, and love is a word that is tossed around without much thought, meaning, nor action to back them up. Hope is not a word that is spoken of, nor heard often, except in a church or synagogue.

What has happened in the past few decades to cause such a rift between our past and the present?

What happened to the sound of laughing children playing energetically in the neighborhood, without the fear of them being lured away by the worst of intentions?

What happened to all the strong leaders that lived by the golden rule of integrity and utilized ingenuity without the fear of failure looming overhead?

What happened to the freedom to love and accept others without the fear of rejection?

Are the questions above rhetorical by nature, or do they warrant merit? Let’s take a walk on the wild side…shall we?

This next question needs to be pondered, if only for a brief moment, but pondered nonetheless…

Have our hearts grown so cold that we lack the ability to love unconditionally for fear of rejection?

Please read it again…

At first glance we think, ‘Surely this question has nothing to do with me…does it?’

• What if we were to be completely honest with ourselves and others, what would be revealed in our hearts?

• Maybe by some miracle we’ve actually forgiven every offense offered up to us, but what if someone we knew or loved still hadn’t forgiven the offense. Do you think that it would still have an affect on us in one way or another?

Let’s use, as an example, the couple I heard fighting next door…

Will my neighbors break up effect others around them for a long time to come?

• I believe so, because rejection creates enmity between, not only close friends and relatives, but it separates us from our own hearts ability to love and be loved.

Do you think the angry barrage of insults they threw at one another affected only them?

• I don’t think so, because even I, not knowing the couple at all, was affected by their bitter battle, enough so that I had to write about rejections wounding affects on a heart. So, how much more will it effect those in their life? A great deal I would imagine.

Lessons Learned:

• Forgiveness conquers rejection
• Love heals the broken heart and restores all that is lost
  

So…how does one find their way back from the depths of rejection?

Is there a road map that can intersect two hearts on a different plateau?

Can tangled webs be unwoven?

Does time heal all wounds or is love timeless?

The answers to these questions remain in the hearts of those who have cared for another and allowed life’s challenges to lose sight of what is most important…loving G-d and others unconditionally. Many have struggled to keep their relationships together, but throughout the years one thing has remained the same…G-d’s love hasn’t grown cold toward us, even in our broken state.

No matter if we’ve lost a loved one, or experienced rejection; divorced the love of our life, or have been offended to the point of brokenness, G-d’s love never fails.

Forgiveness is the only way through a storm, for if we avoid dealing with the issues, bitterness creeps into the heart drowning all manners of the soul. I’ve never known a love that comes easy or lives without arguments, but I do know that if we communicate what is going on inside of us we have an opportunity to grow as people that love unconditionally, no matter the circumstances. We will never give up on the one’s we love…we defy the odds and become men and women of compassion and understanding.

Which brings me to one final question?

Can the tides under a full moon become motionless?

Never! A true love cannot be buried at sea, or shipwrecked in a strangers land, for the tides of time will eventually carry us to a familiar shore into the awaiting arms of not only our family and friends, but to our Heavenly Father, and that is all that matters.

~*~*~

May G-d’s love fill your hearts with the compassion and mercy to love the unlovely, and to quickly forgive those who have offended you.

© July 2010 Jolisa Hume All Rights Reserved

———

P.S. I have a song that goes along with this story, but I haven’t finished it yet. I will re-post once it’s complete.

Feel free to leave a comment…G-d bless!

Take Me Back

A young precocious Sally sat alone in her room gently and methodically dressing her favorite doll. She could hear her mom singing her brand new baby brother to sleep, in the room across the hall. When her mom first gave her “Cassie”, her favorite doll, she was told that one day soon she would be able to hold her baby brother that currently lived in her mommy’s belly. However, what she didn’t realize was all the sacrifices she would have to make having a new baby in the house. Apparently, he was here to stay, so she thought it best to accept his odd habits, especially the smelly diapers and his incessant need to camp out in her mommy’s arms.

Sally cradled Cassie in her arms as a strong realization washed over her young features. She couldn’t quite grasp, nor understand the implications, but she knew that she needed to talk to her brother and fast. She halted all movements as she watched her mom quietly close her brother’s door, walk across the hall and step inside her own bedroom.

Rachel eyed her daughter carefully, as worry etched her young girl’s features. She leaned over to pick up a stray toy lying on the floor, before crossing the short distance to where Sally sat playing on her bed.

Leaning over to kiss her daughter’s rosy red cheek, she asked, “What’s wrong, Sweetie?”

Without hesitation Sally jumped off the bed and landed on the floor like an Olympic champion after a great performance, “Mommy, may I talk to brudder?”

Rachel brushed away a strand of hair from her daughter’s face, “I just put him down for a nap, but you can talk to him the minute he wakes up, I promise.”

Sally’s features grew more ominous by the moment, tears pricking the corners of her eyes she quickly snatched her doll off of the bed, pulling her close to her heart and quietly sobbed.

Rachel lifted her burdened child into her arms and softly wiped away the tears that stained her eldest child’s eyes. She gently rocked her little princess in her arms, trying to figure out what had broken her daughter’s heart, “Mommy can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

Quiet sobs filled the air as Sally peered into her mother’s caring eyes, “I just need to talk to brudder…” a shuddering breath escaped her little lips, “it’s important.”

Confused by her daughter’s odd behavior, she thought it best to redirect her attention until she could figure out why her beautiful girl was so upset, “How ‘bout we make some ice cream sundaes?”

Undeterred, Sally’s countenance changed from upset to a dogged determination, “Mommy, I really, really need to talk to brudder!”

Sally had always been a smart child, even at the young age of three; she seemed to be wiser than most children her age. Since Matthew arrived on the scene, Sally seemed to withdraw within herself and she spent most days playing alone in her room with her doll.

Concerned for her daughter’s peculiar behavior, she quickly scooped her up in her arms and carried her down the hall to the living room where her husband was watching a football game.

Rachel sat her daughter down next to her daddy, “Would you mind entertaining your daughter while I make us some ice cream sundaes?”

Paul stunned by the abrupt interruption to his Sunday afternoon Sports fest, reluctantly hit the mute button on the TV remote and then gingerly laid it on the coffee table. Paul knew he wasn’t the most intuitive man on the planet, as his wife so aptly proclaimed, but his daughter’s sad face quickly clued him in to the necessary interruption. “Why the long face, Princess?”

“Daddy, I really need to talk to brudder.”

“Matthew’s sleeping right now, but I’m sure that he will be awake soon, and then you can play with him…okay?”

“No, daddy, I can’t wait that long.” Wrapping her arms around her small frame, she utilized the pout that always seemed to work when her mother used it on him.

“Daddy, please let me talk to brudder.” She pulled Cassie to her chest trying to draw strength and courage from her best friend.

Paul didn’t understand Sally’s incessant need to talk to her brother, but he knew that there was only one thing that could redirect her attention…the tickle monster game! Imitating a crazed Sesame Street character, he lifted his large hands in the air flexing his fingers. Sally squealed in delight as her daddy pulled her on the couch and began to tickle her to the point of gasping for air. Squirming out of her daddy’s reach she crawled off the couch and ran down the hallway to her brother’s room.

“Where you going, Princess” She could hear her daddy call after her, but she had one goal in mind and nothing would deter her, not even her favorite hero.

Sally waited a moment until she heard the TV playing loudly in the living room, so she decided this was the best time to retrieve the answer to the question that had been burning in her heart for the past half hour.

~*~*~

Rachel entered the living room with their frozen treats when she noticed that her daughter was missing. “Paul, where’s Sally?”

Paul absentmindedly answered his wife, “She left a few minutes ago… she may be in her room?”

Rachel peered down the hallway and noticed not only Matthew’s bedroom door open, but her treasured doll lying haphazardly on the floor. “Well, apparently she’s playing in our sleeping son’s room.”

“I’m in trouble now, aren’t I?”

Rachel quirked an eyebrow, “What was your first clue, Paul?”

~*~*~

Sally wrapped her little fingers around the bars of the baby bed and peered in at the sleeping form and for the briefest of  moments she listened closely to his soft breathing.  Sally  and tenderly touched his little fingers with her own, she was surprised when she felt him close his little fist around her small hand. A lone tear traced lines of her face when she realized how much she really did love her brother, even though he got more mommy time than she did.  However, she was willing to forgo even more mommy time, if he would just answer that one very important question.

“Brudder, wake up…I need to ask you something.”

Matthew’s eyes slowly blinked open the moment he heard his sisters voice. She eyed her brother warily afraid he might start crying, but when he didn’t she lifted his little hand to her lips and lightly kissed each one of his little fingers.

Rachel and Paul quietly stood in the doorway, as they watched Sally lovingly reach inside the crib and kiss her brother’s fingers. For some reason they didn’t want to interrupt this very intimate moment between the two siblings. Rachel smiled at her husband as he tenderly pulled her into his arms. She snuggled close to her husband as she took in the scene before her and was so thankful to see her little Princess finally taking an interest in her baby brother.  However, nothing could have possibly prepared her for the poignant question their beautiful daughter had asked their newborn baby boy. She thought that this was one of those moments where everything moved in accelerated slow motion. Where time stood still and life moved on at breakneck speed. Rachel had never really believed in God, and neither did Paul. As a matter of fact, she couldn’t remember ever reading the Bible to her daughter, much less even mentioning God’s name.  However, in this very moment her daughter was making a believer out of her.

Matthew quietly watched his sister, as he kicked his feet into the air. Sally smiled down at him as she tenderly took one of his little feet into her hand and squeezed. Believing that her brother held all the secrets of Heaven she finally asked the one question that she longed to know,  “Brudder, please tell me about Jesus…I’m beginning to forget.”

——-

When we’re born again, the light in the world seems brighter, flowers smell fresher, and time marches on with purpose and meaning. Destiny seems attainable and drives us to please our Father in Heaven and the world and all its cares fall away with one touch from the Father’s hands.

Praise Angels sing in joyous exultation as our names are entered into the Book of Life

Warring Angels fight back the death angels protests

G-d’s infinitely beautiful, but yet powerfully endearing love washes us clean in the blood of His Son.

In one split second deaths sting was lost in Yeshua’s victory.

AND THEN THERE WAS LIFE…

Like Sally, I oftentimes forget the sound of His gentle voice, the touch of His strong, but gentle hands, and how powerfully He used my childlike faith to conquer the world with His love.

What happened?

• Did the cares of this world wash my white robes gray?

• Did the sea of indifference shipwreck my voice?

• Did zealousness get lost in apathy?

• Did the act of religion swallow the sweetness of a childlike faith?

• Did mercy fall into the hands of unforgiveness?

Lessons Learned

• Childlike faith moves mountains

• Ask and you receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened to you.

Sally sought after the truth even after her parents asked her to wait to wake her brother. Nothing could deter her tenacity for truth. She even left her best friend lying on the floor to seek after that which she felt she was forgetting…Jesus.

She asked…she cried…she sought after and she found!

No matter the challenges we’re facing, or the heartaches that plague our intimate circles of life or the lack of faith that’s barely seen, even through a microscope. Ask G-d to take you back to that place when you first believed. Seek after Him with all your heart and He will open the doors if only you knock.

Hang out with people that love G-d with all their hearts, souls and minds, put away the negative things of this world that eat you up and spit you out. Forgive your enemy and fall in love all over again!

May G-d restore your heart to love with a zeal that moves mountains and believe as easily and quickly as a child.

© 2010 Jolisa Hume All Rights Reserved

Faith in Action

As I awoke Sunday morning, I stretched my cold aching muscles trying to wipe away the last vestiges of sleep. I slipped out from under the covers and slowly strode down the hallway. I paused for a moment as I heard a sound you never want to hear inside of a house…rushing water. After listening for what seemed like long minutes, I trekked my way around the corner of the hallway. For a moment, I thought I was dreaming wide awake as I took in the damage that apparently had been occurring for hours. Quickly moving into action I stepped on the sopping wet carpet of the living room to discover 2 inches of water in the kitchen. Listening closely to where the water was coming from I promptly discovered that the water filtration system in the refrigerator had burst and was pouring copious amounts of water into the refrigerator and pooling in the kitchen, living room, dining room, den and garage. After finally moving the fridge from the wall and turning off the water, my roommate and I assessed the damage. The damage to the house was quite substantial, but what I soon realized was, that the house was uninhabitable.

A few days prior to this event I had been laid off from my job and now I was basically homeless…a refugee, if you will. When G-d is ready to make a change in your life, He does it in big ways. Well, needless to say, He had my attention. After calling a couple of friends, I packed my bags and walked away from the house that now was considered a disaster area.  After having brunch with my friends, we prayed seeking G-d’s guidance on where I should live.

After several phone calls, G-d opened a door for me to live at a friend’s apartment in North Dallas. Since my friend was on contract with her job in the Northeast, her apartment was available to move in right away. There was only one problem with this living situation…a cat dwelled there. Like most people, I suffer from animal allergies. Since this was the only door that opened, my apprehensions soon gave way to faith and I believed that G-d could dissolve the cat allergies instantaneously.

After a couple of hours I was all moved into my temporary home. However, Patches, the cat, was a bit disoriented by my presence and bellowed her disapproval for hours on end. I called the owner of the cat and she told me just to pet her, but my fears gave way and I absolutely refused to touch the cat, for fear of retaliation. I was in no position to be rushed to the hospital due to a severe allergic reaction. So, I endured the onslaught of her constant meowing. No matter how much cajoling I did with this poor cat, she would not comply…not for one minute.

I finally turned the TV on in the bedroom in hopes of drowning out her protests, but to no avail, she persisted, even to the point of jumping on the bed and lying down on my head. Never underestimate the tenacity of an offended cat. You just never realize the power an animal has over your life until you’re put in a situation that wreaks havoc on your sanity. Seriously, I thought I had totally missed the mark with G-d and moved into this situation due to fear instead of faith.

Dawn seemed to announce itself with the sound of more of Patches’ unrelenting cries. Not only had I spent a night in a Cat’s Torture Chamber, I woke up with a scratchy throat, runny nose, itching ears, watering eyes and wheezing lungs. At that moment in time I could relate to her distress. Two hours later, my fears gave way, as Patches continued her bellowing cry.

I began to pray…

I could hear G-d’s small still voice speak clearly to my heart, “Pet the cat!” I thought for sure He had lost His mind, and I would surely die from this one single act.

I obeyed.

One gleaming moment of obedience and my whole world changed. As my hand gently raked down Patches’ arched back, her meowing instantly subsided, my eyes and nose dried up, lungs cleared, ears stopped itching, inflamed throat cooled and I felt like I had had several hours of sleep.

I learned two powerful lessons…

• Verbal faith is not enough.

• Faith must inspire action.

Even though I trusted G-d to keep me from having animal allergies, I had to actually act on that faith by touching the cat.

Hebrews 11:30-34 tells us of men and women of faith that not only believed G-d, but acted on their faith:

• By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they had been encircled for seven days.

• By faith Rahab the harlot did not perish along with those who were disobedient, after she had welcomed the spies in peace.

• And what more shall I say? For time will fail me if I tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets, who by faith

…conquered kingdoms

…performed acts of righteousness

…obtained promises

…shut the mouths of lions

…quenched the power of fire

…escaped the edge of the sword

…from weakness were made strong

…became mighty in war

…put foreign armies to flight.

I have now lived 3 days in an apartment with a cat that has become my constant companion, and the allergies that would normally place me in a hospital emergency room have subsided due to an act of faith. G-d has taken great care of not only me, but the cat that needed love due to loneliness from an absent owner.

His love amazes me!!!

May our mustard seeds of faith reveal G-d’s great love as we act on what we believe.

© 2010 Jolisa Hume All Rights Reserved

Winding Road of Life

Every journey has its winding roads, full of ups and downs, ins and outs, valleys and mountains, traffic jams and safe passages, but what we learn on this traversing trail of life matters not only to the heart, but to our Father in Heaven.

Once we start this adventure of life, we feel that time is on our side, but what we’re quick to learn is the fact that time tends to speed up as we draw nearer to our destination. Statistically speaking, more accidents occur closer to home than anywhere else along the road and oftentimes we’re derailed at the very moment we’re about to reach our goal. And before we even realize what has happened, we find ourselves on a darkened backstreet alley, where the stench of life alone could wipe out all that is good and holy. If we linger too long on the wrong side of the tracks we find ourselves lost and alone, but most likely unable to find the road that leads us safely home.

EVERY PROTAGONIST HAS AN ANTAGONIST…

We must purpose it in our hearts that the road chosen for us to travel is laden with pot holes and dangerous curves where the enemy lurks about seeking whom he may devour. His goal is to destroy us and ultimately stop the forward advancement of G-ds kingdom and the purpose He has for our lives.

“Where there is no vision, the people perish…” Proverbs 29:18.

About 3 years ago I suffered a great loss when I chose to listen to a worship pastor from a prominent church in the D/FW area. I shared with him that on New Years Eve 2002 a friend of mine and I had spent 6 non-stop hours worshipping G-d. During this time G-d revealed His purpose for my life,, to open a 24 hour worship center. After sharing G-d’s vision for my life with this pastor, he proceeded to tell me that it was the most outlandish thing he had ever heard and that it most definitely was NOT a word from the L-rd. Each negative word he hurled in my direction was like a dull sword slicing at the very core of my spiritual being.

After hearing these deadly words I found myself standing at the crossroads between G-d’s word and the enemy’s lies. Unfortunately, beyond all comprehension I quickly chose the road that led to death. Why you ask?

EVERY BELIEVER HAS A GIANT TO SLAY (Metaphorically speaking)

Perhaps G-d was allowing me to be tested to reveal the chinks in my own armor. There’s a weakness in everyone, and we don’t know where that weakness is until it’s tested with fire. Even though I didn’t pass the test, the L-rd was quick to allow a do over. Unfortunately, I absolutely refused to retake the test. I allowed the enemy to steal the vision G-d had burned so brightly in my heart. I didn’t fight to get it back, but let me tell you I’ve once again picked up my sword and plan on fighting the good fight of faith with every ounce of my being. Life is too short to believe the enemy’s lies, so it’s time to take a step of faith and enter into all that G-d has called me to do.

I believe without a shadow of doubt that we all have a purpose and a vision that G-d has placed within our hearts. Seek G-d’s face and find out what He has planned for your life and hold it fast and hard. No matter what He has planned for you, never allow the enemy to speak negatively about whom you are or what you’re called to do. For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 1:6

EVERY BEGINNING HAS AN ENDING…

So, to sum up, no matter where we are on this winding road of life, whether we’re…

…Mapping a new path or pondering a crossroads journey

…Divesting a giant of his sword with only a stone or praying for an enemy’s salvation

…Seeking solace in a ocean sunset or overlooking a valley from the mountaintop

…Lost in the valley of the shadow of doubt or adventuring a detour

There are two remaining factors that we all need to comprehend and that is, that we must never listen to the enemy’s lies, because he will derail the plans of G-d for our life, and we must not linger to long anywhere along this winding road of life, because stagnation breeds discontentment.

If we will allow G-d to lead us down this winding road of life, we will find that we’ve learned to navigate around the sharp turns and pot holes with greater ease. Let’s work together as one in the Messiah, further advancing the Kingdom of G-d for the day of His return.

May G-d grant you peace and joy as you take this amazing journey down the road of life.

© 2010 Jolisa Hume All Rights Reserved